When your Realtor tells you to declutter - just do it

Admit it - you are just as addicted to HGTV as the rest of America. So don't pretend you don't know what is coming when I meet with you to list your home. Every buyer wants to walk into some version of Pottery Barn, and that means clearing out all of those mementos of life that you have collected over the years. I am sympathetic, it isn't easy; the way you live in your home is innately counter to the way buyers want to experience it. You drink coffee every morning - buyers want to see wide open expanses of empty counter in kitchens. You have a 2 year old - buyers want every living space to look like something out of Dwell magazine. Believe me, I understand it isn't easy. But if you want to get the most money for your house, it is important.

This is an extreme example, but see what happened to one couple who had an amazing home in an amazing location but just couldn't bear to box up the mementos from their life.

As I remind clients: you are moving. Go ahead and pack away all the "extra" that you can - it will make it that much easier come moving day because much of your belongings will already be in boxes, and in the meantime it will make your house much more show-ready. That's not to say the 50 porcelain roosters that your grandmother passed down to you aren't special, they just may not be everyone's taste so best to go ahead and bubble wrap them now.

We have the same goal as you: sell your home as quickly as possible, for the most money as possible. So in this vein, the more you can do to maximize your home's first impression, the better.

Trust us, we are the experts.

Game of Thrones is back! (certainly that deserves a blog post)

Game of Thrones is my all-time favorite series of books (PLEASE finish the books, George!) and HBO has done an amazing job bringing them to life. In honor of the newest season kicking off tonight, I offer you this amazing article!

“Game of Thrones” returns on Sunday, and we’re sure you watch it for the same reason we do. No, not the shockingly colorful violence. No, not the inescapable nudity and salacious sex scenes. Yes, like us, you love it because it’s all about real estate. After all, isn’t the whole show just one big bidding war for the castle by the sea in King’s Landing? Can’t have closing costs if everyone’s dead, amirite?

Who knows? Maybe Arya Stark is actually headed to Braavos to get her broker’s license. Maybe the White Walkers just want a sunken living room and gourmet kitchen like the rest of us. Guess we’ll have to watch all of Season 5 to find out.

In the meantime, here are some Westeros-style castles (in America!) fit for any Lannister, Stark, Bolton, Greyjoy, Targaryen … good lord, this gets confusing. And for those days when you want to give the dragons a break, we’ve included the Walk Score—the White Walk Score, that is. (Click here to view the Castles)

Things you WISH you could say to your borrowers but, can’t:

A little bit of fun from one of my lenders.  Unfortunately it is funny because it is so often true!


10. After reviewing your tax returns...is your company hiring?

9. Unfortunately, we just cannot use the $20,000 you have stored in your gun safe to cover the cash you're short to close.
8. Listen, there’s been a red dot outbreak at my office. I’ll have to call you back tomorrow.

7. Let’s just say that if I ruled the world, I’d certainly loan you $417,000 without bothering to check your credit or verify your income!

6. Sure, take as long as you want to think about my offer of 3.5% with no points. In the meantime, I will ask the markets,(US and abroad) to suspend all trading until you decide.

5. Since you only have $6 worth of verifiable liquid assets, I will need more of an explanation regarding the four $3000 non payroll deposits. Right now, it looks like you're collecting income from the meth lab in your rented garage.

4. At what point when I was talking about the importance of NOT moving money did you decide to pay off $20,000 in student loans?

3. It’s a little hard to believe these “tax liens” and “mortgage lates” on your credit report are the “first you are hearing of this.”

2. It took you three weeks to get me your documents. I will need a little more than 5 minutes to get your docs out.

1. No, we don't really need all of your tax returns– just the random pages that you feel like sending.
~ by David Lettermen 

A Little Humor

Just thought I would share a funny story that happened last fall......

We were having an inspection done on a house we had under contract and the listing agent met us out there to let us into the house. This agent is about 75 years old, is wearing a brown polyester suit, and has a serious comb-over with the few gray hairs he has left on his head. As he goes to leave, he turns to my client and asks if she knows how to put the keys back in the lockbox. Up until that point he had been very quiet.

Agent: "Do you know how to put the keys back in the lockbox?"
Client: "I am sure I can figure it out"
Agent: "It's simple, see. Now, have you every loaded a semi-automatic weapon?"
Client: "Ummmmmm.......not recently?"
Agent: "Well it's just like that, see. You pop it right in the bottom the same way you would a magazine clip. See? Easy as pie!"
Client stares at him in disbelief

As soon as he got out the door, we just died. To this day, however, I use the same analogy when explaining the mechanics of a lockbox!